You Know You’re From Arizona When…You’ve signed so many petitions to recall governors you can’t remember the name of the incumbent.You notice your car overheating before you drive it.You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.You can hear the weather forecast of 115 degrees without flinching.You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour…and it will be over 100 degrees.You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car, because your steering wheel is so hot.You can make sun tea instantly.You run your a/c in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.The best parking is determined by shade…..not distance.You realize that “Valley Fever” isn’t a disco dance.Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.It’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation and yet all the streets are totally empty of both cars and people.You actually burn your hand opening the car door.Sunscreen is sold year round, kept right at the checkout counter.You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mail box.Some fools will market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them. Worse…..some fools actually try to jog.You know hot air balloons can’t rise because the air temperature is hotter than the air inside the balloon.
You get angry when your favorite artist jumps from California to New Mexico.
No one would dream of putting vinyl inside a car.You see two trees fighting over a dog.You can say “Hohokam” and people don’t think you’re laughing funnyYou see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt RiverYou have to go to a fake beach for some fake wavesYou can pronounce”Saguaro”, “Tempe”, “San Xavier”, “Canyon de Chelly”, "Mogollon Rim", and Cholla"You can understand the reason for a town named “Why”You can fry an egg on the hood of a car IN THE MORNING!You hear people say “but it’s a DRY heat!”You buy salsa by the gallon.Your Christmas decorations include sand and l00 paper bags.You think a red light is merely a suggestion.All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.Most of the restaurants in town have the first name “El” or “Los.”You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.Most homes have more firearms than people.Kids will ask, “What’s a mosquito?”People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out of-state or nuts.You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you’re wearing shorts.If you haven’t worked for Motorola at some time, you must be a newcomer.You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Arizona.
Someone finally said it.
How many are actually paying attention to this?
There are African Americans,
Native Americans, etc.
…And then there are just -
You pass me on the street
and sneer in my direction.
You Call me ‘White boy,’
… And that’s OK.
But when I call you Nigger,
Kike, Towel head,
Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey,
Beaner, Gook, or Chink
… You call me a racist.
You say that whites commit a lot
of violence against you,
so why are the ghettos the most
dangerous places to live?
You have the United Negro College Fund.
You have Martin Luther King Day.
You have Black History Month.
You have Cesar Chavez Day.
You have Ma’uled Al-Nabi.
You have the NAACP.
And you have BET.
If we had WET
(White Entertainment Television)
… We’d be racists.
If we had a White Pride Day
… You would call us racists.
If we had White History Month
If we had any organization for only whites
to ‘advance’ OUR lives ..
… We’d be racists.
We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce,
a Black Chamber of Commerce,
and then we just have the plain
Chamber of Commerce.
Wonder who pays for that?
If we had a college fund that only gave
white students scholarships
… You know we’d be racists.
There are over 60 openly-proclaimed
Black-only Colleges in the US ,
yet if there were ‘White-only Colleges’
… THAT would be a racist college.
In the Million Man March,
you believed that you were
marching for your race and rights.
If we marched for our race and rights,
You are proud to be black,
brown, yellow and orange,
and you’re not afraid to announce it.
But when we announce our white pride
… You call us racists.
You rob us,
and shoot at us.
But, when a white police officer
shoots a black gang member
or beats up a black drug-dealer
who is running from the LAW and
posing a threat to ALL of society
… You call him a racist.
I am proud.
… But, you call me a racist.
Why is it that only
can be racists?
Made a Tumblr!